Children and young people today experience everyday life that is strongly influenced by expectations. Social competition does not begin at work, but already at school – and in some cases even at nursery. This gives rise to various forms of pressure to perform, which can have a direct impact on the mental and physical health of young people:

School grades as a status symbol: Good grades are often seen as the only measure of intelligence and success. Those who don’t keep up quickly feel inferior or excluded.
Busy leisure schedules: Many children and young people attend extra lessons, sports clubs, music lessons or other activities alongside school – not always voluntarily. This leads to constant stress.
Comparisons with peers: Performance-oriented thinking is often reinforced by classmates, for example through competition for places in certain types of schools or the pursuit of recognition.
Fears about the future at an early age: Even primary school pupils report worries about not getting a ‘good job’ if their performance is not up to scratch. This way of thinking can lead to inner turmoil and feeling overwhelmed.

All in all, this pressure leads to a feeling of constant evaluation – a state that can make you ill in the long run.

Excessive Expectations at Home

In addition to social influences, the family environment also plays a central role. Parents usually want only the best for their children – but well-intentioned support can easily turn into unintentional pressure. Phrases such as ‘You have to try harder’ or ‘You can do better’ can trigger feelings of guilt in sensitive children. If appreciation is only linked to performance, this creates the feeling that you are only loved when you perform well.

The desire for ‘optimal support’ – such as early foreign language learning or targeted preparation for secondary school – can also become a risk if it overlooks children’s need for play, rest and self-determination.

Especially when it comes to pressure to perform at school, the family home plays a dual role: as a source of support, but also as a potential amplifier of stress.

Social Media & Self-Optimisation at School

In today’s digital world, pressure to perform is not limited to the classroom. Social media also has an enormous influence on children and young people. Platforms such as Instagram, TikTok and YouTube show supposedly perfect classmates – always cheerful, athletic, successful and popular. This constant comparison can create a form of invisible pressure at school and in leisure time.

The following aspects are particularly problematic:

Idealised self-presentation: Many young people only show their successes – bad grades, failures or weaknesses are hidden. This conveys a distorted picture of reality and reinforces the feeling of ‘not being good enough’.
Self-optimisation as a trend: Content such as ‘Study with me’ videos or self-discipline challenges seem motivating at first glance – but they promote the idea that you have to be efficient and productive all the time.
Comparison instead of individuality: Social media encourages comparisons at the touch of a button. Likes and follower numbers become a measure of recognition – and often replace personal appreciation.

Especially among young people, who are already sensitive to performance demands, these digital influences can create additional stress for students – with serious consequences for their mental health.

Performance Pressure can also lead to truancy. Learn more about school absenteeism here.

Recognising Warning Signs

When School Causes Anxiety

Current figures show how widespread psychological stress caused by school has become: according to the 2024 School Barometer published by the Robert Bosch Foundation, around 21% of pupils feel under severe psychological strain.

A further 20% report low levels of well-being in their everyday school life. These figures make it clear that pressure to perform at school is no longer a marginal phenomenon, but affects many children and young people – often with serious consequences for their mental health.

What is intended as a safe place to learn for many children and young people becomes a source of massive stress for others. When going to school is associated with anxiety, it is a serious warning sign. It often starts gradually: a queasy feeling on Sunday evenings, nervousness before exams, sleep problems before tests. Over time, this can develop into persistent school anxiety – with physical symptoms such as trembling, nausea or even panic attacks.

The pressure can become self-perpetuating, especially in children who feel under pressure to perform or are very afraid of making mistakes. It is not uncommon for school avoidance or even complete withdrawal to occur when stress gets out of hand. As a result, the psychological strain caused by school no longer affects only learning, but the entire life of the child.

Behavioural Changes and Withdrawal

Many children and adolescents do not openly show that they are overwhelmed. Instead, their behaviour gradually changes. Sudden irritability, social withdrawal, listlessness or a significant deterioration in school performance can be signs of internal pressure. Psychosomatic complaints – physical symptoms without an organic cause – also often occur in this context. These include:

frequent headaches or stomach aches,
loss of appetite,
sleep disorders or
lack of motivation.

Precisely because these signals are easily overlooked or dismissed as ‘puberty’, it is important to pay close attention. Stress in schoolchildren is often hidden – which makes it all the more important to react early and listen when children change.

Effects on Children’s Mental Health

Short-Term and Long-Term Consequences

Pressure to perform rarely has no consequences – especially if it persists over a longer period of time. In the short term, stress often manifests itself in physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach problems or sleep disorders. Concentration problems and emotional reactions such as crying, irritability or feeling overwhelmed are also typical signs.

If the pressure to perform in children and young people is not taken seriously, it can lead to long-term mental illness. These include:

anxiety disorders,
depressive moods or
chronic exhaustion, even school-related burnout.

These developments not only affect school performance, but also self-esteem and the ability to participate in social life.

Psychosomatic Complaints

The line between mental and physical suffering is often blurred in children and young people. Many young people express their emotional distress through physical symptoms – a phenomenon known in the professional world as psychosomatics. Stomach aches before tests, headaches in the morning or sudden skin problems are not uncommon.

As children are often unable to describe their feelings in words, their bodies ‘speak’ for them. Parents and teachers should always take such signs seriously and consider possible links to school stress or pressure at school.

Developmental Disorders Caused by Chronic Stress

Chronic stress can significantly impair a child’s healthy development. When children are under constant tension, there is little room for creative development, social interaction and emotional stability. Particularly affected are:

self-confidence,
the ability to self-regulate, and
the ability to concentrate and learn.

The result: a vicious circle develops. The more a child is blocked by pressure, the worse their school performance becomes – which further increases the pressure to perform. Without early relief, this cycle can have serious consequences for the mental health of children.

Age-Dependent Reactions to Performance Pressure

Children and young people react differently to stress depending on their age. Younger children are more likely to show stress through physical complaints or excessive clinging. Young people, on the other hand, are more prone to withdrawal, refusal or inner resignation.

In addition, self-image also changes with age: Social recognition plays a particularly important role during puberty. Those who do not meet academic requirements quickly feel ‘less worthy’. Especially during this sensitive phase of development, performance demands on adolescents can be particularly stressful and leave long-lasting emotional scars.

Pressure to perform can often have long-term consequences. Find out here which mental illnesses are particularly common in children and adolescents.

What can Parents, Teachers and Caregivers do?

Everyday Strategies for Less Stress

Children and young people need an environment in which they feel not only capable of achieving, but above all safe and valued. Even small changes in everyday life can help reduce school stress in children. These include:

regular daily routines with sufficient breaks and sleep
time for hobbies and free play,
exercise in the fresh air and
deliberate periods of relaxation, e.g. through breathing exercises or mindfulness training suitable for children.

It is also important for parents to reflect on their own expectations: support your child without overwhelming them. Praise not only performance, but also effort, courage and progress – regardless of the result.

Talk to Your Child on Equal Terms

Communication is key to reducing stress. Children should feel that they can talk openly about their worries and fears without fear of consequences. Parents, teachers and other caregivers can ask specific questions such as: ‘How do you feel at school?’ or ‘Is there anything that’s too much for you?’

It is important to listen actively without immediately offering solutions. Just feeling that they are being taken seriously can relieve a lot of pressure. Teachers can also play a key role by creating space for individual needs and not misunderstanding excessive demands as ‘unwillingness’.

Learning to Deal With Mistakes

A healthy approach to mistakes is crucial for promoting mental health in children in the long term. Perfectionism is one of the biggest drivers of performance pressure – often fuelled by the fear of not being good enough. Children should learn that mistakes are part of learning. This requires role models who stand by their own mistakes and show that failure is human.

Phrases such as ‘You don’t understand that yet, but you’ll learn’ or ‘Mistakes help you to improve’ can encourage children and make them feel that they are accepted even with their insecurities.

Find out here how you can strengthen your child’s mental health in everyday life.

Treatment Methods at the Verus Bonifatius Hospital

The Verus Bonifatius Hospital offers a wide range of therapeutic methods specifically tailored to the needs of children and adolescents experiencing performance pressure and school-related stress. The focus is on a holistic approach that takes psychological, physical and social factors into account:

Family Therapy Intervention: Involvement of the entire family to strengthen communication and bonding.
Marte Meo Method: Working with video-based everyday scenes to promote emotional development and relationship skills.
Behavioural Therapy (individual and group): Developing new patterns of thinking and behaviour to cope with stress.
Depth Psychology Therapy (individual and group): Working through unconscious conflicts and inner tensions.
Naturopathic Treatments and Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM): Supporting the body’s self-healing powers through herbal remedies, acupuncture and other naturopathic approaches.
Relaxation and Mindfulness Techniques: For example, progressive muscle relaxation, breathing training or mindfulness exercises.
Body, Art and Music Therapy as well as Fitness Programmes: Promotion of expression, movement and creative processing.
Crisis intervention and supportive psychotherapy: Rapid emotional stabilisation in stressful situations.

These diverse methods enable us to provide individual support to children and adolescents, strengthen their resources and professionally guide them out of the pressure to perform at school.

FAQ

How can I tell if my child is suffering from performance pressure or just going through a difficult phase?

It is often not easy to distinguish whether a child is actually under severe performance pressure or is simply experiencing temporary challenges. Look out for changes in behaviour, psychosomatic complaints and persistent emotional reactions – if you are unsure, a professional assessment can help.

At what age does psychotherapeutic support for school stress become advisable?

In principle, children as young as primary school age can benefit from psychotherapeutic support, especially if symptoms persist over a longer period of time or if everyday life is severely impaired. Early intervention can help to avoid long-term consequences.

Are there any school concepts specifically designed to reduce performance pressure?

Yes, some schools now use alternative performance assessment, mindfulness training or project-based learning to reduce pressure. However, such concepts are not yet established across the board. An open discussion with the school can be helpful in finding individual solutions.

Published on: 01.10.2025